Letters to the Addict

This excercise can take weeks to complete.  It should not be rushed and you will need to give it a lot of thought and prayer.  It took me several months to write my letters.  These are 4 seperate letter witten to your partner.  You may or may not wish to share them with him/or her.  These letters are a great opportunity to express your deepest and most raw feelings to your partner.  These letters have a great value in the recovery process if you will be completely honest and direct as you write them. This is your opportunity to share how you have been impacted by your partner’s addiction.  You should not worry about the length of the letter.  Just start writing and write as long as you have words left to write. These letters will bring up a lot of emotions and triggers so be prepared to give yourself lots of self care as you write them.  Take breaks and deep breaths. This is not easy work.

Here are links to my letters:

  • Anger Letter Write a letter to your partner to share just have their addiction has impacted you.  Be specific and honest.  Do not hold back.  Tell them how angry you are and why.
  • Sadness Letter Write a letter to your partner expressing you feelings of sadness and loss.  This should not be a place to express anger so if you feel anger go to you anger letter to add those.  This should be about what makes you sad.  Use phrases like, “It makes me sad that” or “I regret that.”
  • Appreciation Letter This is will probably be the most difficult of the 4 letters to write because many partners shut out or lose touch with the good things in the relationship.  Sometimes they only thing you can appreciate is that your partner is willing to seek help for the addiction.
  • Acceptance Letter Write a letter telling your partner the things that you accept about your life as it is now.  This doesn’t mean you agree with it or approve.  It just means that you accept the way things are at this time.